The Quest For Santa Claus, by Frank Atkinson

A Christmas Play in
Four Acts and a Prologue
Depicting Familiar Scenes On Christmas Eve
In Merry England

Note: Before the curtain rises upon Act I, as soon as the company has assembled, the Superintendent ostensibly begins a short address of welcome. While thus engaged, “Beggar Maid” enters at the rear of the room and immediately starts in with her lines and by the time the First Mate, who up until that point has been serving as an Usher, has made reply the whole audience is conscious of the conversation taking place, and the dialogue goes on uninterrupted until the end.

The transformation accomplished by the erstwhile Beggar Maid, but now a Fairy Princess, is the sudden illumination of the evergreen trees flanking both sides of the stage by colored electric lights, and is very effective.

Beggar Maid: Please, sir, and wot’s a’goin’ on ’ere, is it the movies or somethin’?

(Usher) First Mate: No, this is a Christmas Party for the boys and girls of the ....................... Sunday School.

Beggar Maid: Oh, I’m sorry—not for them, but for myself—I thought, if it was a movie you might let me in for this ha’penny—it’s all the money I’ve got—But this is no place for me—nobody wants a beggar around when they’re ’avin’ parties.

(Beggar Maid turns to leave, but before doing so the usher takes her by the hand.)

(Usher) First Mate: No, don’t go away—I assure you we shall be glad to have you as our guest—Come with me.

(Usher) First Mate: We have with us, Mr. Superintendent, an unexpected guest—a stranger in town, who came here thinking it was a movie show—I’ve been telling our young friend that she will be welcome—but she is reluctant to accept my invitation.

(Supt.) Captain: You are quite right, Mr. ——, we are indeed happy to have anyone come and share our joy—let me assure you, dear, you are welcome—come right along, see here we have a vacant chair where you will be able to see the players, and, I dare say, you will find them quite as fine as any you would see at the movies.

(By this time, with reluctant steps, led by the (Usher) First Mate, the Beggar Maid has come to the front of the room and the center of the stage.)

(But instead of taking the proffered seat, turning to the (Superintendent) Captain, and rising to her full stature, she speaks.)

Beggar Maid: Mr. Superintendent, I am much pleased to find here the Spirit of the Master, and to vouchsafe to you and to all of these dear people gathered here, a royal, happy good time in all your merrymaking, and in the homage I trust each and all are now bringing in honor of the infant Christ, who, two thousand years ago was born in a lowly stable amid the hills of Bethlehem, in old Judea. No less true is it in our day than it was of old that oftentimes we entertain angels unaware. Doubtless, you think I am only a beggar, and for that I am very thankful, for thus it is possible for me to reward the kindly spirit you have shown to those less fortunate than yourselves. But you see I am not a beggar.

(Here the Beggar Maid drops off her outer garment.) but a fairy princess, whose magic wand can make beauty spring up everywhere.

(Turning to the right hand she waves her wand over the trees, which instantly flash into beauty, (colored lights), and then to the left hand—and, while the people are rejoicing over the illumination, she rapidly runs down the center aisle to rear of room, and makes her escape, stopping only once to wish them

Note: When the curtain rises Santa Claus is busy arranging toys in shop window, lighting candles and doing such other stage work as will enliven the scene.

No lines are spoken until Crispin and Maggie come upon the scene, the idea being to portray the various types of folk one would expect to find upon the street—the types can be many or few, fishmongers, washwomen, laborers, children, musicians, teamsters returning from work, street arabs, etc. Some of these enter the shop and buy, others, like Crispin and Maggie, must be content with looking in. These characters should enter alternately from right and left stage.

(Enter Maggie. After one-half minute girl follows, enters left stage. They both walk slowly up stage to window of the toy shop, keeping as far apart as is possible. Both are interested only in the window display, and for some time neither of them speak.)

Maggie: W’en I call on the queen my name is Maggie, but the folk in our alley call me Mag.

Maggie: I didn’t swipe it, smarty, an old guv’ner gave it to me for running an errand for ’im.

Maggie: Isn’t that enough—wot yer want a guy to guv yer—a sixpence fer doin’ nuthin’—an’ besides, he wor a nice ol’ gentleman.

Maggie: Naw, smarty, ’e was no friend of my fambly, I never seen ’im before tonight—but I know ’e is a nice man—he said such nice things to me.

Crispin: Wot d’jer mean by nice things—I never seed any on ’em knockin’ around our alley.

Maggie: Well—w’en I got back to ’im he smiled and said, “Thank yer, mi dear, and ’eres a apple fer yer, and I wish yer a Merry Christmas.”

Crispin: (H)excuse me, Mag, fer takin’ liberties with yer name on such a short acquaintance, but I ’ave to laff w’en I ’ear of these rich guys wishin’ the likes of us a ’appy Christmas, and doin’ nuthin’ to ’elp make their wish come true.—Now if yer kind benefactor ’ad said, “Here’s a ten-pound note—go and get yerself some warm clothes to cover yer ’arf-naked body, and some food to fill yer empty stomach, and get fer yerself one o’ them golden-’aired dollys wot shut their eyes, and say, ‘Mamma’ when yer punch ’em in their breadbasket,” I could feel he were sincere in his good wishes for yer.

Maggie: Now, Cris, yer mustn’t run on like that, it isn’t fair—some of these rich folk never had the chances you and me ’ave ’ad—and so I say, clothes, or no clothes, food, or no food, blue-eyed sleepin’, squawkin’ dollies, or no dollies, I’m glad fer the progress some on ’em ’ave made. Perhaps some day they will learn that true Christmas ’appiness begins in well wishing and ends in well doing. Until then we must be content in lookin’ at the things which belong to others, just as we ’ave been doin’ before this winder fer the last ’arf ’our.

Maggie: So must I, Cris—but before we part I want to wish yer a Merry Christmas.

(Both start to walk away in opposite directions, but before leaving the stage Maggie stops.)

(Cris searches his pockets—fishes out a rather dilapidated knife—opens it, and hands it to Maggie, who cuts apple in half—returns knife to Cris.)

Maggie: And ter make my wish come true, Cris—’er’s the ’alf of my apple.

(Fishmonger. Enter right—Fresh herrin’, all alive, all alive, all alive. Herrin’, fresh herrin’, twelve fer a shillin’. Note: As she passes the shop of Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus opens shop door.)

Fishmonger: Mi lady, so ’elp me, they were swimmin’ in the sea this very mornin’.

Mrs. Claus: That’s wot I call dear for herrin’. Make it nine-pence and I’ll take a dozen.

Fishmonger: No, ma’am, not if I never sell ’em (walks away.) Fresh herrin’, herrin’, herrin’, herrin’, all alive, all alive, (suddenly turns again.) Well, missus, seeing as I on’y have a few left, ’ere yer are, tak ’em at yer own price. Counts out herring and exit.

(At this point Santa Claus locks up his shop for the night, puts up shutters in front of windows and returns into shop.)

(Night Watchman: Enter left, eight o’clock and all’s well. Exit right. Note by this time the village streets are nearly deserted.)

(Enter Ethel. Enter Harold. Immediately following exit of Watchman after his 8 o’clock round, Harold and Ethel enter from left stage—Harold is leading Ethel by the hand. They look around from one side of the street to the other, which at this time is deserted.)

Harold: Neither do I—I expect he lives in a big house, like the Earl of Crewe.

Ethel: But you are forgetting it is nearly time for him to start out on his long journey.

Harold: I have not forgotten that, but I am thinking that it takes a big factory to hold all the toys Santa has made since last year.

Harold: Look! Look! Ethel, I believe we have found it—see that sign over the shop window, it says S. CLAUS, TOYMAKER.

Ethel: Yes, and the shutters are up—that’s because Santa doesn’t want anyone to see him at work.

(While the children are hesitating about what ought to be done, Mr. S. Claus leaves the place and starts to walk away rapidly. Just then, the children turn and catch sight of him.)

(Both children leave the stage, shouting, “Santa, Santa, wait a minute, please, Santa, wait.”)

(First time off stage—Second time on stage—Crier takes center stage, rings bell vigorously, takes position with bell reposing in left arm, with right hand clutching tongue of bell.)

Town Crier: Lost, strayed or stolen, a ten-year-old boy and his young sister—the children of our fellow townsman, Mr. Alphonso Cruickshank, Ironmonger and Tinker, of Number 12, High Street, Sandbach. When last seen, the children were walking in the direction of Congleton Road, but beyond this their whereabouts are unknown. A reward of 50 guineas in gold will be paid to any person, or persons, who, finding the children, shall safely return them to their bereaved parents.

(Watchman in distance is heard calling, “Nine o’clock and all’s well.” The village clock strikes the hour and the chimes sweetly play.)

(Enter Clews, right, who saunters across stage and returns, taking position under lamp, when chimes are ended.)

Clews: Good evenin’, mate, w’ere ’as thi bin, I’ve been waitin’ on thi fur the last ’our.

Allcock: I dunna wonder at thi askin’ w’ere I’ve been. This’ll be the first toime in the last twel’ yer that I’ve missed bein’ at the Black Bear on Christmas eve. But that is ner the on’y thing I’ve missed, so I must ’asten ’ome and get a bite o’ summat to eat.

Clews: But w’at kept thi away from ’ome so long—Surely not the love of thi work?

Allcock: No, ’ardly that, but thi knows ’ow it is hup at the ’all—an’ ’ow they fixes hup everythin’ fur the big party they’re ’avin come ter-morrer—I dunno wat they would a dun if I’d a quit on ’em.

Clews: I ’no wat thi means, mate, I’ve thought miself wot a ’elpless lot some folk are.

Allcock: Aye, all I ’eard ter-day was, “Willyum, ’ave yer killed an’ dressed the sucking pigs—Willyum, ’ave yer finished plucking the geese—Willyum, will yer be sure there are yule logs on ’and fer the party—Willyum, go down to the butchers and bring the roast of beef I ordered—William, this, and Willyum that,” until I’m sick and tired o’ mi own name.

But they’re not a bad lot at that for the mester gave me a Christmas box o’ ten shilling’ an’ I ’ave in this bundle some clothes wot belonged to the little gel w’at died a year ago come Michaelmas, an’ a bran new dress w’ich the missus sent to mi owd woman.

Clews: Mite it be yer ’ad a goose in yer bundle fer yer Christmas dinner, as well as the fine feathers fer the missus?

Allcock: No, Jack, but you ’no and I ’no w’ere there is as fine a dinner waitin’ fer them as knows, as ever come out o’ a pot—and yer ’ave ’eard tell as ’ow the first thing to be dun in makin’ rabbit pie is to first catch the rabbit.

Clews: I understand, Willyum—Make it ten by the clock—at the old place back of the ’all.

Note: It is very effective when the carolers can conveniently sing for the first time off stage, as if in the distance. The carolers should be appropriately dressed for cold weather, carry lanterns and the stage should be darkened.

Note: Harold and Ethel in their pursuit of Santa Claus, the village Toymaker and Shop Keeper, find themselves far from home and in the grounds immediately surrounding Brereton Hall. The stage setting should consist of a hedge row built up of small evergreen trees at the rear of the stage and on both ends, with a wooden stile set in the hedge on right stage. Evergreen branches are strewn around, left there by the hedger, who had been trimming the hedges about the grounds.

The children enter from left and the Poachers, for such are Clews and Allcock, who later appear, enter from the right, climb over the stile and soon get busy at the task which brought them there, namely, the bagging of a brace of rabbits for their Christmas dinner.

(As the curtain rises, Harold and Ethel are wearily dragging themselves across stage—when center is reached, Ethel stops, and in tears she refuses to go any further.)

Ethel (tearfully): Harold, I just can’t go another step, I want to go home to mamma.

Harold: Don’t cry, Sis, you know I believe we’re almost there—if you only think of the fun we will have when we find Santa, you will forget all about being tired.

Ethel: I know it will be lots of fun to see Santa, and, if we ever do find him, I’m going to ask him to show me all his wonderful toys. But I think I’d rather wait until next year. I want mamma.

(No longer able to restrain herself, she bursts out crying, much to the undoing of Harold.)

Harold: See here, Sis, please don’t cry. When we get home I’ll give you my new cricket bat and ball. Perhaps if we sit down for a little while we will get rested. I’ll just gather a few of these branches—that will be better than sitting on the cold ground.

(Harold arranges the branches as a little bed down stage, and places Ethel upon it.)

Yes, I see a big house not far away. I’m sure that must be where Santa is. Let us rest here awhile.

(Harold seats himself beside Ethel—puts his arms around her, draws her near to him.)

(Ethel does not answer, for she has fallen asleep. Gently Harold lays her down upon the boughs and with a yawn says——)

(Soon after the children fall asleep, two Poachers arrive on the scene, and, entirely oblivious to the fact that there are human beings near them, they proceed to the work of the evening, just as the bell in the village clock strikes the hour of ten. All through the work of the Poachers the children remain fast asleep.)

Allcock (rushing to cover): Wo’t, yer don’t mean the Game-keeper and his gang? W’y don’t yer duck?

Clews: (laughing heartily): ’Oo said onythin’ about game-keepers. Come an’ luk fer thy sel’—’ere are two as fine babbys as yer hever sot h’eyes on.

Allcock (drawing near to sleeping children): Blime me, if they haint. I wonder wot they’re doin’ ’ere at this time o’ noight?

Allcock (gently shaking Harold): Wake h’up, little mon, does ta want to catch thi death o’ cold lying out ’ere this cold night—and what about the little gel, wake ’er h’up tew.

Harold: Please, Mr., can you tell us who lives in yonder house—Sis and I hope that is where Santa lives. If so, we must be going, or else Santa will have left.

Ethel: Yes, you know he will go just as soon as the clock strikes twelve, and we want to see his wonderful toys before he leaves.

Clews: ’Earken to that, will yer, these kids want to see Santa Claus—Ha! Ha! Ha! Say, Kiddie, there haint no Santa.

Harold: You are mistaken, sir, for sis and I saw him tonight, with our own eyes, but he walked so fast we couldn’t catch up to him.

Clews (aside): Say, mate, it’s the owd codjer, S. Claus, the kiddies are thinkin’ on. Wot der yer say if we giv ’em a lift. It’s not much the likes of uz can do to make anny body ’appy, but ’eres a little job we con do as well as anny on ’em.

Come along, we’ll ’ave yer in front of ’is r’yal ’ighness in less nor a jiff’ey.

(Exit Poachers with the now happy children upon their shoulders, and their Christmas dinner safely bagged.)

(Enter King of the Imps—At blast of whistle the imps spring up behind the hedge.)

(Imps gather down stage and seat themselves Indian fashion in a circle—the King remains standing.)

Lucifer Match (addressing Imps): My mind is ill at ease—Go where I will, I fail not to observe how men, in city, town, and hamlet throughout the land, in fealty to Him they call the Christ, are moved to deeds of mercy and of love.

Imp No. 1: If such be true, Your Majesty, it bodes ill of thee and thy kingdom of darkness.

Lucifer Match: Yea, such is true, and not content with that, they move from street to street, and house to house, and, like the angels on Bethlehem hills, two thousand years ago, they proclaim the Messiah’s birth, and sing of Peace and Goodwill to Men. Thus do they assail and threaten my right to reign and rule.

Lucifer Match: It shall not be—some way must be found to stop these inroads upon my kingdom and domain—but what to do, and how, and when, I know not.

Lucifer Match: Persecution, in that ye counsel without knowledge. To stop this tide of Christmas cheer by persecution is as foolish as to attempt to dam a river at its mouth.

Lucifer Match: Aye, that I have and by cunning ways have I sought to turn him from his course, but neither threat, money, or persuasion have any effect upon him to check the rising of good will, which, like water gushing from a fountain, overflows and fills the hearts of the children of men everywhere with his own genial spirit and warm friendliness.

Lucifer Match: He lives hard by an Inn, the Black Bear, where incessantly he toils throughout the year in fashioning toys and other gifts, which he lavishly bestows upon the people in his journey around the world on Christmas night—but I fear his real abode is in the hearts of men, and particularly in the hearts of little children.

Imp No. 1 (rising and bowing): Pardon me, Sire for venturing to suggest that thou commission us to wreak destruction upon the toys, or otherwise prevent this arch enemy of thine from carrying out his plan.

Lucifer Match: Thou speakest words of wisdom, and it is my will that thou perform in my name, and in behalf of my kingdom this work of destruction. Here, then, is thy commission—Look well to the task.

“Whereas, one Santa Claus, by cunning devices and by his unfailing good humor and goodwill, is stealing the hearts and fealty of my hitherto loyal subjects—now, therefore, do I, Lucifer Match, declare that from this hour I will give him no peace or rest—

And, in order that his work may be brought to nought, I do commission my loyal band of Imps to sally forth and utterly destroy not only this arch conspirator, but all his handiwork—To him who shall accomplish the downfall of this personification of Christmas Peace and Good Will, I give the half of my kingdom, and the hand of my daughter in marriage.

(After reading of commission, exit Lucifer Match. Then Imps disappear behind the hedge.)

(When the curtain rises, Santa is doing some simple task around the room with his back to the audience—then, turning around as the clock strikes eleven, he speaks—)

Santa: Ah, the time is drawing nigh when I must sally forth—An hour yet remains, and so I’ll improve it by taking a little nap—How good it is after the day’s toil is ended to sweetly rest—perchance to dream of the fruit of one’s labor. Here’s a cushion for my head, and what matters if my feet hang o’er the end like culprits from the gallows. ’Tis good—And now to sleep——

(Enter Imps stealthily—3 from right, and 3 from left—They look around the room and presently discover Santa. They look first toward Santa’s picture on the wall and then at Santa.)

Imp 3 (approaches Santa, then returns): My heart fails me—Strike thou the blow.

Imp 5 (approaches Santa, then returns): Only a traitor could strike so kindly a face as his.

Imps (all): No, not one—Would that our king were Santa—and here and now we pledge to him our allegiance.

(Each approaches Santa in turn making a profound bow, and then leaves the room—excepting Imp 1.)

Imp 1: I know what power is this which makes me traitor to my king—Would I could warn him of his danger.

This will I do—With my dagger will I pinion to yon wall this commission of my king, so shall he learn of the king’s purpose to do him harm.

(Walks to back of stage—takes dagger from belt, and thrusts it through the Royal Commission to the wall.)

(Exit Imp No. 1. After exit of Imp No. 1, Santa awakens, stretches, and after rising makes discovery of the Imp’s Commission, which he removes from the wall, examines dagger, reads commission, laughs heartily, and to show his disdain tears commission to bits.)

(A loud knock upon the door announces the arrival of Harold and Ethel whom the poachers have safely landed at the home of Santa Claus. Santa goes to door, left stage, and there finds the two children whom he invites to enter.)

Santa: Well! Well! Well! In all my life I have never before had the pleasure of a visit in my home from two such interesting children. But what brought you here at this time of night?

Harold: We came on the shoulders of two of the nicest men we ever met, didn’t we, Ethel?

Ethel: Yes, and I am afraid we should never have found you, Santa, if they hadn’t helped us.

Harold: Sis wants awfully to see your wonderful toys, but I believe I’d like a nice soft bed to sleep in. (Yawns.) I’m so tired.

Ethel: You mustn’t mind what Harold says, Santa; of course, we both want to see the toys, even though we are tired. (Ethel yawns.) You see, Santa, we have been searching everywhere for you.

Santa: This is perplexing, but I think I am beginning to understand. Let us go into the next room. Mrs. Santa will know what to do for tired and hungry children, and then I will show you a few of my animated toys which I assure you is a rare privilege. Come along.

When the curtain rises, the toys are standing rigidly at back of stage. Santa enters with children, whom he seats back to audience at front and center of stage. Santa then proceeds to exhibit the toys, winding them up, marching them to front stage, then to position at front of stage right and left.

M’lle Tabitha, Playful as a Kitten, who makes merriment whenever the dolls are not actually doing their stunt.

No dialogue need be prepared for Santa, as it is better to let Santa make his own fun in his own way. After the last number the carolers and other members of the cast slip quietly upon the stage and end the play by singing one verse of “O Come, All Ye Faithful.”

[17]

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Prologue
Act I	A Street in Sandbach
Act II	Brereton Hall
Act III	Room in Santa Claus House
Act IV	Santa Claus Workshop

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The quest for Santa Claus

The
Quest for Santa Claus

PROLOGUE

ACT I.

ACT II.

ACT III.

ACT IV.

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The quest for Santa Claus

TheQuest for Santa Claus

PROLOGUE

ACT I.

ACT II.

ACT III.

ACT IV.

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

The
Quest for Santa Claus